How Folarin Balogun Turned a Controversial Red Card Into a Lesson in Emotional Intelligence
Folarin Balogun, the U.S. striker, was having the game of his life. He had just scored his third goal of the World Cup when, in the 64th minute, referee Raphael Claus reviewed a slow-motion replay of an accidental collision. Balogun landed on the ankle of an opposing player, and Claus issued a red card. In an instant, America’s leading scorer was ejected and suspended from the next match—the biggest U.S. men’s soccer game in decades, the Round of 16 against Belgium.
Almost no one thought the call was correct. Coach Mauricio Pochettino said the collision “was never a red card.” Many fans compared it to a similar collision by Messi earlier that day, which didn’t even get reviewed. Yet Balogun’s response became the real story. His calm reaction, both in the moment and afterward, was a powerful example of emotional intelligence.
Balogun’s Calm Reaction: A Live Demonstration of Self-Management
Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize and understand emotions—your own and others’—and use that awareness to manage your behavior and relationships. EI has four core skills:
- Self-awareness – knowing what you feel
- Self-management – controlling your reactions
- Social awareness – understanding others’ feelings
- Relationship management – handling interactions well
Balogun’s reaction to the red card was a masterclass in self-management. As emotional intelligence expert Dr. Travis Bradberry explains, “Your brain is wired to feel before it thinks. Self-management is the discipline of holding the gap between feeling and action long enough to choose.”
Balogun didn’t suppress his anger. He acknowledged the injustice calmly, then let it go. He walked over to referee Claus after the final whistle and shook his hand. Two days later, he told reporters, “I think a yellow card would have been fair. But it already happened. I have to accept it and move forward.”
The EI Strategy: Reframe Before You React
How did Balogun stay so calm? He explained his thinking: “I never want to react out of anger and out of emotion. There’s still lots of people we’re inspiring, little kids, boys and girls who are watching. We have to show them the correct way to handle things, even when you think it’s unjust.”
Psychologists call this cognitive reappraisal. It’s a tactic where you change how you interpret an event before your emotional response fully takes hold. Instead of seeing the red card as an injustice that gave him the right to explode, Balogun saw it as an opportunity to be a role model. Research from Stanford and Berkeley shows that people who habitually use reappraisal experience less negative emotion, more positive emotion, and better relationships than those who suppress their feelings.
How You Can Use Cognitive Reappraisal in Daily Life
This strategy isn’t just for soccer stars. Anyone can use it. Next time a decision at work or in your personal life feels unfair, pause. Ask yourself: “How would I want someone I love—my child, my partner, my best friend—to react if they were in my shoes?”
For example, a new parent might say, “How would I want my kid to grow up and handle this moment?” That simple question shifts your focus from anger to purpose.
What Happened Next? FIFA Reversed the Ban
On Sunday, FIFA’s disciplinary committee reviewed the red card and cleared Balogun to play in the Round of 16 against Belgium. The reversal didn’t change the lesson. Balogun controlled the only thing he could: his reaction. That’s true for all of us. The red card was out of his control. The reversal was out of his control. But his response? That was entirely his.
Balogun’s story reminds us that emotional intelligence isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about choosing how you respond—even when life feels unfair. And that choice can inspire everyone watching.
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