Former South Africa captain Dane van Niekerk says her omission from the T20 World Cup squad felt "personal" but her international retirement has been "a weight off my shoulders".
Van Niekerk, 29, retired from South Africa duty last month after leading them 80 times in a 14-year career.
She was left out of the squad for February's World Cup after failing to meet the required time for a 2km run.
"It was a weird thing," Van Niekerk told the BBC's No Balls podcast.
South Africa beat England in the semi-finals to reach their first final, which Van Niekerk called "very bittersweet".
"I wanted South Africa to win, but I'm not going to say I wasn't conflicted," she said.
"The women in that team are my mates. I love them; I want good things for them.
"But I knew that if something good came from that World Cup - which again, I wanted - everything that transpired with me would get pushed under the rug and there would be no questions asked."
𝗦𝗲𝗺𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁, 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴. We’re more than just a social platform — from jobs and blogs to events and daily chats, we bring people and ideas together in one simple, meaningful space.