Former South Africa captain Dane van Niekerk says her omission from the T20 World Cup squad felt "personal" but her international retirement has been "a weight off my shoulders".
Van Niekerk, 29, retired from South Africa duty last month after leading them 80 times in a 14-year career.
She was left out of the squad for February's World Cup after failing to meet the required time for a 2km run.
"It was a weird thing," Van Niekerk told the BBC's No Balls podcast.
South Africa beat England in the semi-finals to reach their first final, which Van Niekerk called "very bittersweet".
"I wanted South Africa to win, but I'm not going to say I wasn't conflicted," she said.
"The women in that team are my mates. I love them; I want good things for them.
"But I knew that if something good came from that World Cup - which again, I wanted - everything that transpired with me would get pushed under the rug and there would be no questions asked."
