An abusive or toxic relationship is one of the few things we cannot explain why people stay in them or take too long to get out.
Abuse can manifest itself in a relationship verbally, physically, emotionally, and financially.
Men and women both have been victims of abusive relationships.
Often we say it is easier said than done, you can feel helpless and challenged to know how to offer them support. Victims can drift away slightly or entirely.
You can help someone in an abusive or toxic relationship in the following ways.
Take them seriously
Do not disregard what they are saying since it may seem unlikely. Though it might seem obvious, this is vital.
In most instances, victims fail to open up about abuse due to fear of being seen as liars or being dismissed. Until they speak up most victims cope by minimizing their pain.
Listen
Listening requires you to be patient, kind, gentle, and control yourself. You may not like what they are saying and the situation they are in but offer them a listening ear.
Let them talk, focus on them, and their story and understand them. Pay attention to how they feel, and their situation.
Validate them and tier emotions, this is not the time to tell them you hate their abuser or tell them you told them so, or how they got themselves in that situation.
Be honest
Honesty can work or fail to work. In situations where they ask for your opinion tell them the truth and not what they think they want to hear. When being honest be gentle and kind.
Be keen not to blame the victim for their situation.
Check-in with them
Abusive relationships have been known to push their victims to suicide, or in some cases, the victim is killed by the abuser.
Be reliable by checking in with the victim to keep track of how they are doing and how things are progressing. You can meet up with them or send a text message or call them.
This reminds the victim that they have a support system and they can always ask for help.
Respect their boundaries
If they ask you not to discuss something in particular, text or call them, or visit them then don't unless advised otherwise by an expert.
Research
This involves reading and seeking to find out more information about abuse.
It helps you know when you speak up, remain silent or adhere to the boundaries put up by the victim.
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